POETRYShe Followed Him Down
the face of a man beside her bed.
Some
ill in the room.
she was
only half awake,
so she followed him down
through the drowsy
edge of pain
it finally dawned on her that the man
was not her
father
a large black spider on her pillow.
another
deed
happened
around the house.
slamming sounds
refused sleep
The Dr. may even be responsible
spider up her thigh in the dimly lit room
held down, stared down
embers of the abyss snap around her
My father sexually abused me.
When I got married,
I hyphenated my name.
No one questioned it at the time.
But in the middle of my parents’ late divorce,
everyone wants to know about names.
Nietzsche warned us not to look
long into the abyss, or it will look long
into us.
It was finally
his home until
abruptly
his mind flashed
all the times he had entered a
boy
i was depressed,
and i wanted
to take a
walk;
you said you'd join me—
didn't mean i wanted
netflix and chill,
it happened before words came
to tell me how to feel about it
newly connected neurons torn apart
or perverted—
forever firing blanks into the microbiological air
As a child
The lessons taught
Can bring a pain never thought.
The lessons on trust
And heartache
Sear the soul.