POETRYThe Eyes of the Abyss
Nietzsche warned us not to look
long into the abyss, or it will look long
into us.
I have looked many times into the
wretched eyes, coven blackened from
worship, eyes with no spark.
They burrow through my head,
my innocence served up like a buffet.
I know the fecal notes from this Satan's breath.
I’ve never personally met the Devil, just
a lot of his devotees. I have looked
long into the abyss, the void, the black hole
leaching off my soul, down to the marrow.
I no longer trust. I never totally feel safe,
I never completely relax, I never sleep deeply.
I’m afraid of the dark.
I no longer believe in God.
Each of the Devil's mentors left their
malignant fingerprints inside my head,
forever. I know the Devil exists -- I'm
related to a few of his flunkies.
spider up her thigh in the dimly lit room
held down, stared down
embers of the abyss snap around her
My father sexually abused me.
When I got married,
I hyphenated my name.
No one questioned it at the time.
But in the middle of my parents’ late divorce,
everyone wants to know about names.
Nietzsche warned us not to look
long into the abyss, or it will look long
into us.
It was finally
his home until
abruptly
his mind flashed
all the times he had entered a
boy
i was depressed,
and i wanted
to take a
walk;
you said you'd join me—
didn't mean i wanted
netflix and chill,
it happened before words came
to tell me how to feel about it
newly connected neurons torn apart
or perverted—
forever firing blanks into the microbiological air
As a child
The lessons taught
Can bring a pain never thought.
The lessons on trust
And heartache
Sear the soul.