We are standing on a balcony
between mountains,
pointing to a scrim of houses
and acres of wild-
fenced,
so far off
we say distance,
when a monk holds a glass
in his hand says,
if I hit this glass
with another -
we both break,
and the falcons hem
a spiral of air,
the bombast
of presidential speeches
sags,
as the rain starts
to fall and we stay
not rushing for cover
even though the gusts
have blissed
our hair
across our eyes
like flags
that unstitch
and usher prayers
underneath
doorsteps
where the kettle
is heating
and just about ready
to cry,
and why,
a students asks
are these gods wrathful ?—
scrolls woven
with skulls
as cups for blood
and strings of bone
ornaments—
I know the answer
is to wage war
against the enemies
of Buddhism,
but the monk-
glass still in his hand,
asks,
what would happen,
if instead I rub this
with a soft cloth ?
Megan Merchant is mostly forthcoming. She is the author of two full-length poetry collections: Gravel Ghosts (available now through Glass Lyre Press) The Dark’s Humming (Winner of the 2015 Lyrebird Prize, Glass Lyre Press, forthcoming 2017), four chapbooks and a forthcoming children’s book with Philomel Books. She lives in the tall pines of Prescott, Arizona and teaches Mindfulness & Meditation at Prescott College.
spider up her thigh in the dimly lit room
held down, stared down
embers of the abyss snap around her
My father sexually abused me.
When I got married,
I hyphenated my name.
No one questioned it at the time.
But in the middle of my parents’ late divorce,
everyone wants to know about names.
Nietzsche warned us not to look
long into the abyss, or it will look long
into us.
It was finally
his home until
abruptly
his mind flashed
all the times he had entered a
boy
i was depressed,
and i wanted
to take a
walk;
you said you'd join me—
didn't mean i wanted
netflix and chill,
it happened before words came
to tell me how to feel about it
newly connected neurons torn apart
or perverted—
forever firing blanks into the microbiological air
As a child
The lessons taught
Can bring a pain never thought.
The lessons on trust
And heartache
Sear the soul.