POETRYBlue Scout (Nuri Alexander)by Thomas R. Thomas
Carlos Castaneda
ate my friend
took the girl
I knew and
swallowed
her whole
lied to the world
look, she’s
a blue mist
he said
couldn’t even
keep his
story straight
the ashes
of Castaneda
chewed her up
and spit her
bones in the
deep desert
Thomas R. Thomas publishes the small press Arroyo Seco Press. publications include Carnival, Pipe Dream, Bank Heavy Press, Chiron Review, Electric Windmill, Marco Polo, and Silver Birch Press. His books are Scorpio (Carnival), and Five Lines (World Parade Books). the art of invisibility (Dark Heart Press) is coming Fall 2015. His website isthomasrthomas.org.
spider up her thigh in the dimly lit room
held down, stared down
embers of the abyss snap around her
My father sexually abused me.
When I got married,
I hyphenated my name.
No one questioned it at the time.
But in the middle of my parents’ late divorce,
everyone wants to know about names.
Nietzsche warned us not to look
long into the abyss, or it will look long
into us.
It was finally
his home until
abruptly
his mind flashed
all the times he had entered a
boy
i was depressed,
and i wanted
to take a
walk;
you said you'd join me—
didn't mean i wanted
netflix and chill,
it happened before words came
to tell me how to feel about it
newly connected neurons torn apart
or perverted—
forever firing blanks into the microbiological air
As a child
The lessons taught
Can bring a pain never thought.
The lessons on trust
And heartache
Sear the soul.