When you only have six cold opens left, maybe the best option isn’t to waste one with Todd and the Nazis at a diner, talking shop. Anyway, nothing of note happens in this, the weakest of cold opens, except to let us know that Todd and his special friends are back in New Mexico (they weren’t there already? Okay.) and are preparing for their Big Confrontation with Walter White in about five episodes from now. Also, Todd is calling “Mr. White” and giving him updates on the business still, just in case you didn’t think Todd was creepy enough.
Back to the episode proper. Hank tries to get info out of Jesse, revealing that he knows Walt is Heisenberg. But Jesse’s wounded pride forces him to stay quiet. Very quickly, Saul barges into the room and forces Hank out. Confession aborted.
And then Marie tries to get Walter Junior to come over to the house for a little computer repair, which is actually another clumsy kidnapping attempt. So Walt uses his punch from Hank as his opener to tell Junior that he passed out “very very briefly” because his cancer has returned. But it’s cool. Hey, you go on over and help Aunt Marie. But shockingly, Junior wants to stay home, now. The sadness on RJ Mitte’s face makes me confident that he be able to knock it out of the park just fine acting-wise, once Junior learns the truth.
Then Walter and Skyler make a special “confession” video for their in-laws.
At the friendly neighborhood Mexican restaurant, poorwaiter Trent, yet another victim of Walter White’s evil ways, gets no tips from the four scowling customers who only order water. But it’s a great scene all around. Walter and Skyler beg Marie and Hank to leave the kids out of things, and hey, maybe just stop all this nonsense anyway. Skyler needs Marie to know that they’re admitting nothing, but whatever the Schraders thinks they’ve done they’re totally not doing anymore, not that they ever have in the first place. Hank says they’re going to jail. Marie sincerely asks Walt to kill himself (holy shit, Marie!) and the Whites decide it’s time to leave. They leave a CD on the table.
They don’t show it, but I imagine it was no more than a five count before the Schraders are out the door and speeding home. Clear that table fast, Trent! You can still salvage the night!
Walt’s “confession” is that he is the slave to evil Heisenberg Hank Schrader, who was working with Gus until they had a falling out, etc etc. It’s a beautiful re-imagining of the entire series, and one that works perfectly. Would the DEA really just take Walt’s word over Hank’s? Maybe if Walt’s dead, they would have to consider it. At the very least, the public would always be suspicious, and Hank’s name would be ruined.
Anyway, the Schraders are good and boned, for now. Your move, Hank.
But Walter White can never just have one problem. He meets Saul and Jesse out in the desert and immediately starts “working” Jesse, telling him it would probably be for his own good to leave town with a new identity and never come back. Jesse begs him to just stop and act like a fucking human being for once and admit that that he just wants Jesse gone for his own sake. Why can’t it be both? In response, Walter refuses to say what Jesse is begging him to say and instead hugs him. How you interpret that hug is your own personal Rorschach test. I believe Walt thinks that Jesse leaving town would be the best thing for Jesse and for himself. I believe Walt thinks Jesse is mostly now a problem that needs to go away. But he does love Jesse, and he does wish the best for him, and most importantly, he could just kill him right fucking now but he doesn’t. To me that means something, the not killing. I can’t really see myself ever rooting Walt again, per se, but he does have humanity. One thing people forget is that this whole runaway train started when Walt saved Jesse’s life by killing those two drug dealers who killed Andrea’s brother. Jesse, plagued with guilt, was going on a suicide run, attempting to kill them both and he would’ve failed spectacularly, had Walt not gotten there first. That turned Gus against Walt, which led to Jesse killing Gale, and everything that happened in season four and beyond. Walt didn’t need to do that. He did that for Jesse. And he’s doing this for Jesse, now. It’s the first redeemable thing Walt has done in quite a while, letting Jesse live here. Too bad it’s about to bite him in the ass, rabid dog-style.
For indeed, the last segment of this episode involves Saul calling the “vacuum” guy and ordering a new identity for Jesse. But Jesse starts smoking pot, which upsets the vacuum guy’s delicate nature, so Saul demands he hand it over. He won’t. So Huell, the half bowling ball/half pin, who is also quite the Artful Dodger, swipes it from him.
The worst thing Breaking Bad has ever done, plausibility-wise, is the damn Brock story. The odds of Walter managing to give Brock poison berries undetected are so low, the writers never even had the balls to lay out how it all happened. It’s nonsense. But we had to get back to it at some point. So here we are. Jesse remembers when he originally thought Huell pick-pocketed the ricin from him, way back in Season Four. The ricin that conveniently disappeared on the very same day Brock innocently ate some poison berries. And he’s figured it all out. I don’t know why, but I always thought when Jesse learned the truth he would formulate some sort of plan of revenge. But that’s not our Jesse. He beats the shit out of poor Saul, then drives his car right to the White house, kicks down the door and starts pouring gas. Why, he’s practically foaming at the mouth, that rabid dog.