Crazy by B. Deep
Nothing gets you sober like an overdose of crazy
Crazy like an ex’s sledgehammer in full swing,
ending where my windshield used to be
Crazy like tea parties in mad hats,
straightjacket straps that whisper back
& everyone who loves black licorice
Crazy,
like how long a baby can scream without stopping
or dropping acid in a cop station
in a nation
where 25 percent of the population believe they will see
the Second Coming of Christ
in their lifetime
Crazy like, “Everyone’s going to Hell but me”
Crazy like, “We’ll see who gets there first”
The first time I met Crazy, he wore a blue plaid shirt
some doubt beneficial I gave him at first
I honestly thought he was sane
then he made himself known
Crazy spoke
and jagged words broke from a tongue just as sharp
spit sparks like a chainsaw on a chain-linked cross
riddled verbal bullets of bullshit at Gross Pointe blank
expecting me not to duck
All the while, smiling at me
the way missionaries grinned at indigenous tribes
with the twitches of a bishop burning witches alive
I could see in his eyes the ashes and fires of funeral pyres
where a tolerant mind lied down to die
Lies spread from each corner of a chloroform mouth
in a room where there’s no room for doubt
for outright disbelief
for instances of dissidence
for insolent suggestions that question the faith
he unquestionably followed
Crazy told us on Day 1,
“You know, kids,
there’s a lot of things you can be in high school.
You can be a quarterback
or a cheerleader
or a Jew,
but being a Catholic is the best thing you can be.”
Apparently,
everyone else burns for all eternity for not being
one of us
That’s about where he lost me
Crazy taught me that Catholicism was the first religion
and I told him he was a liar
Try a library card
Assyrian, Sumerian, Egyptian religions and a wide world of tribal beliefs
you’ve never even heard of came first
“Son, that’s blasphemy”
“No, it’s called his-to-ry”
Crazy kicked me out of class a lot
Crazy taught me that fossils are one of the Devil’s tricks
That wet dreams mean cheating on my future wife
That the only reason people are gay
is because they hate God
I stood from my desk like a destined pulpit and shouted out:
BULLLLLLSHIT!
Crazy kicked me out of class all the fucking time
Today,
I’m aversive to verses and persons well versed in the one true version
of the absolute truth
I’ve learned institutions lose sight of what’s best for the people
Evil comes in many forms
Wars have killed millions for the way they say God’s name
and you know you’ve made God in your own image
when they happen to hate all the same people you do
There are as many truths as eyes to see them, minds to read them
I don’t care what you believe in
until the stake starts to burn
I’ve learned there are many paths
and following none of them doesn’t mean you’ve lost your way,
but hey,
if you don’t like the words I say, please
feel free
to call me
Crazy
Brennan ‘B Deep’ DeFrisco likes words and the way they move. He is an organizer and performer at the Berkeley Poetry Slam and will represent them in the upcoming 2015 National Poetry Slam. He is co-founder of Lucky Bastard Press and author of Highku: 4 & 20 Poems About Marijuana.
