Father, do your hands forget
what they have done—how they crushed

my violin into their breakfast
of ground manna & baby hair—

So I admit I was pissed because I have known you for almost a decade
& I have saved your ass more than once
& was a real fucking friend to you.
& don’t you think there would be better ways
to express your beef towards me?

As the sun set over the distant Owyhee Mountain range,
Beth and I played “New Kids”.
We tumbled
perilously down the green hillside, summoning our saviors for suburban-themed tragedies.

breath held behind a

medallion of death

woven in and out of containment a

divine frenzy of strands

And so it’s been. Smiles all around, a fecund feel, someone
ending up in the ditch, all of us filling an open space.

Which is how we rode out the wind shifts,
even traveled to wherever this is.

The garden wall is high. How did she get in, and how will she
go home? Birds fly through the auburn sky, white as sparks. As a child I was instructed

to believe my soul was shelved within until released by death. But my spirit feels too big, she
overflows the dark cupboard of my being.

One day, on my way to school, I caught fire. I noticed the flames didn’t take up much room. Of course, I had some qualms, but I didn’t want to become sidetracked. It’s good to be quick, but slow.

While his veins melt back into nourishing streams,
I’ll delicately trace the soil of his flesh, dirt clumping beneath my nails.

The flowers on his skin will be withered and ripped
So, I’ll pluck tears from my eyes to water them.

You told me not to and I did, not
spiting you but proving me
now I am dancing skin in the falling
evening under branches spinning

If I could place one to the left of my breastbone,

live with its meaty core and thistly flower,

it’d choke something saline out of all of us.

But mostly, I try to read
a book, recall how language
once lived in me, too

seedlings of vines
reaching up for sunlight
through my throat

oh, my sweet treat
don’t stray too long
hear my confession
flog me with the nine tails
teach me a lesson

And if I love you, I am sorry.

I am drawn to large creatures,

We walk upstairs and I don't mention it

You have to let the horse lead

Do not hold my hand
do not lift me up
do not look at me.
It’s too much.

Sand is still sand on the beach and in my shoe
It remains the fine and grinded little rock
That it is by the sea when it washes down my drain
We love it only in abundance, only on purpose

new game:
we play hide and seek
i never find you
i’ll spend the next 4 years
searching
and lose myself

He didn’t accept my offering
Heart of Cain
black smoke on the horizon
sea levels on the rise
risen in the dead of night

If that is the kind of love he has to offer,
and I know full well by now that every
kernel of love comes with a rope, then I do not want it.

between operations while her legs could still carry her she paced bubblegum colored
floors decorating the wards with anthemic song through a toothless smile

I just dont like hearing laughter
through a wall Id just rather be

single in a one bedroom apartment

or sort of rolling down a hill
collecting grass and speed