Halloween Leftovers (Or, Thanksgiving Can Kiss My Ass)

I’m pretty sure I’ve said this once before, but it’s one of those things that’s always worth repeating: You don’t have to just suddenly stop celebrating Halloween because it’s no longer October. You can keep that spooky shit in your heart all throughout the year. As we do our best to endure or actually survive the rest of the holidays, which around my part of the world includes Thanksgiving, Christmas, and just the weird, draining buzz where these holidays and the early moments of the new year all conspire to feel like one huge mistake in conscious choice.

I watch a lot of horror, exploitation, etc. throughout the year. I watch more in October because it’s just kind of fun to have an overly ambitious watch list submerged in atmosphere. I’m getting big into vibes as I get older.

So, I watched a ton of horror movies last month that I didn’t get to talk about. Let’s talk about a few of them now. I can’t review everything I watch, and that’s fine, but this month’s Captain Canada is all about a little extra emphasis on new (to me) horror movies I’d love for you to see.

Halloween Ends (2022): C-

Also known as “Evil Dies Tonight: The Next Day,” Halloween Ends is ultimately hard for me to really care about in the aftermath of seeing it. The reception to this movie has been divisive, although perhaps not quite as intensely as last year’s Halloween Kills. The reviews I like best in this conclusion to co-writer/director/producer David Gordon Green’s ambitious and admirable Halloween trilogy are the ones that either like or hate the film, but don’t really have a particularly strong tone about things. These people don’t really dwell on the movie, and I’ve found in the weeks since I’ve seen it that neither have I.

That’s not really a good thing for the film, but I’ll explain that. Halloween Kills is allegedly the conclusion to a trilogy of films picking up the horrible destiny shared by Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis, whose performance at least ends her involvement on a high note) and Michael Myers (a very good James Jude Courtney) from the point of just the first Halloween. It’s supposed to finish that story, while simultaneously existing as its own unique entity. For me it fails to do either of these things.

The elements of Halloween Ends with ties to the last two installments are neglected more often than not. This includes Laurie’s evolution as a character, her relationships within her fractured family, and the state of Haddonfield after Myers’ brutal assault three years prior. These things are touched upon, used at the convenience of the film’s main story, but they don’t go very far or prove to be very interesting. Halloween Kills also fails its new story by forcing it to share the stage with those elements that soon to begin to feel like a different movie entirely. Halloween Ends has too many stories it wants to tell, leading to a movie where all of the interesting bits just feel like that, bits, and not a cohesive conclusion to this trilogy.

Does it need to be a cohesive conclusion? I think so. Halloween Ends clearly wants to spend the bulk of its time with Corey Cunningham (Rohan Campbell), whose participation in a tragic accident sets him down a path that ends with forging a truly unique bond with Myers. It’s an interesting story, which also threads into Laurie and her granddaughter (Andi Matichak) trying to put the past behind them, but you’re just not going to convince me that it’s a story worth telling her. There are at least two different movies running through Halloween Ends. For all its creative flourishes, good performances, and compelling ideas, the ambition here leaves all of those good qualities lacking.

And that’s it. None of this inspires serious anger. Then as now Halloween Kills is just a quiet letdown.

Barbarian (2022): A+

Part of the fun of watching Barbarian more than once is that your appreciation for the film’s narrative choices only deepens. Watching Barbarian unfold with its focus on establishing and then marrying three different storytelling threads is a pleasure. This structure, which includes a young woman visiting Detroit for a job interview, a disgraced sitcom actor, and a hideous, tragic father/daughter tandem, powers some of the surprise and wonder this movie inspires. It also allows the film to build its characters and main plot in a unique fashion, without losing sight of why all of these threads share the same center.

Barbarian is frightening and bleak in all the right places, making good use of not only Detroit, but the history of that city and everything it touches. Barbarian is a savage and insightful horror movie that keeps jolting you with its focus and treatment of its characters. This is one of the best horror movies of 2022, and I almost wish there was another chapter of this one in the works.

Terrifier 2 (2022): A-

Terrifier 2 promised to make the violence in the previous movie about a killer clown named Art (David Howard Thornton, heading for that Robert Englund or Tony Todd plateau) a sweet memory of more innocent times. I’m here to tell you it delivers on that promise with a degree of violence I genuinely cannot believe you could go see on thousands of screens across the United States.

Seasoned gorehounds will probably find all of Art’s mayhem to be standard. Or they’re going to lie and just say it’s no big deal, but Terrifier 2 is more likely than not to be memorable even with those who have seen these shades of almost cartoon violence before. The creativity within that violence helps this film along, but Terrifier 2 also goes big on its plot, atmosphere, and a willingness to be strange, humorous, or just plain ugly when the moment demands it. This 2+ hour film includes dream sequences, connections to the first film, and a whole deal where a young woman named Sienna (Lauren LaVera) is seemingly the only one who might be able to destroy Art.

Terrifier 2 quickly becomes a very new and quite specific breed of supernatural horror movie. It’s not for everyone, but everyone who is intrigued by this description should see it at least once.

Dark Glasses (2022): C+

Dark Glasses is the latest from legendary horror director Dario Argento. It’s not perfect by any means in its story of a recently blinded prostitute (Ilenia Pastorelli) befriending a Chinese boy (Xinyu Zhang) to stop a serial killer, but there’s enough fun and even warmth here to leave me optimistic. I deeply hope this will not be the final film in Argento’s long career as a director, producer, and screenwriter. Argento may not delve into new territory here, but he more than proves in his first movie since the distinctly terrible Dracula 3D that he can still be entertaining.

Dark Glasses probably won’t surprise you in its stylistic choices, moments of carnage and mayhem, or in even in the bizarre third act choices that he makes. Where it might take you aback is when the movie focuses on the friendship between our two protagonists. Pastorelli as Diana and Zhang as Chin have appealing and sweet chemistry together, driving the movie with more heart than we’ve seen from Argento in a while. They make each other likable enough that it becomes easy to root for them. But even if this element wasn’t noticeable in the movie, Dark Glasses would still leave us feeling as though we had a good time.

Goodnight Mommy: (2022): C-

Why remake a 2014 Austrian horror film from directors Veronika Franz and Severin Fiala? Goodnight Mommy 2022 director Matt Sobel tries to tell you, but ultimately cannot help but come up short. The original film is a weird mediation on memories, identity, and the overwhelming power that can be yielded by characters and creators alike in the simple notion of silence. The remake doesn’t really seem to feature any of these things, let alone find anything interesting to say about them that might distinguish it from the 2014 original.

The 2022 version of Goodnight Mommy seems more focused on childhood horror, the perception of a tragic event, and how we survive mentally and physically in the wake of what we have witnessed or even caused. Those aren’t bad ideas, but this film also wants to at least try and touch on the qualities that made the predecessor so haunting and difficult to let go of. What we’re left with is a movie that has good performances from Cameron and Nicholas Crovetti as two children who suspect their mother (Naomi Watts, who’s performance is as strong as the movie allows it to be) has been replaced by a murderous and sinister doppelganger, but not much else.

“Unnecessary” seems like a cruel word to give to a movie that’s technically fine, particularly if you haven’t seen its inspiration, but no other adjective springs to mind. This is a remake that can’t shake the pale imitation game. It doesn’t even seem to try.

Gabriel Ricard writes, edits, and occasionally acts. His books Love and Quarters and Bondage Night are available through Moran Press, in addition to A Ludicrous Split (Alien Buddha Press) and Clouds of Hungry Dogs (Kleft Jaw Press). He is also a writer, performer, and producer with Belligerent Prom Queen Productions. He lives on a horrible place called Long Island.