Grateful for Fathom Events these past few months. While I realize going to the movies is still a considerable gamble during COVID, I’ve hedged my bets on the fact that most of the movies I want to see are not going to be extremely well-attended. So far, with the impressive exception of Princess Mononoke, I’ve been right.

Something had to give. Even someone like me, who is pretty good at staying home, eventually needs to find something. I’m vaccinated, and New York is in good enough shape that I’m willing to run the risk of going to a movie theater 15 minutes from my home. Who am I trying to convince here?

At any rate, watching classics like Scream, Citizen Kane, and Carrie on the big screen have gone a long way towards swinging me back to enjoying the theater experience. I won’t tell anyone its do-or-die for any movie, if I can help it, but I do once again understand how riveting a great movie can be in a dark room with a screen that’s still bigger than my TV at home.

The Silence of the Lambs, which I’ve seen literally dozens of times at this point, really did have a different sort of energy under movie theater circumstances. It wasn’t essential, but it was interesting, and exciting in its own way.

I haven’t felt very positively about the theater experience in quite some time, as I’ve whined about many times in this column in recent years. It’s been fun to restore that at least a little. I’m even seeing recent releases like The Last Duel and The French Dispatch, as you’ll notice shortly. No one around here really seems to be interested in those either.

The Last Duel (2021): B+

I went to see The Last Duel, which may also be the last time Ridley Scott directs a $100-million-dollar movie, because I thought it would at least look impressive in a movie theater. This is right at the point where I had decided that going to the movies again was fine.

I was right about the movie looking spectacular. Where I was surprised by The Last Duel, based on an actual trial-by-combat conducted in France in the 1300s, was in how good the movie as a whole turned out to be.

Presenting three individuals with three distinct narratives around the same brutal crime, The Last Duel can also be seen as several different movies. It could be the story of a young woman (a brilliant Jodie Comer) doing whatever she can to survive brutal misogyny, a thuggish husband, and the whims of a culture that views her as little more than property. It could also be the story of a long, economically-motivated dissolution of a friendship between two very different knights (Matt Damon and Adam Driver, who outstanding separately and when squaring off). It could simply be a story of political intrigue set in the 14th century.

Obviously, and with impressively youthful direction from Ridley Scott, The Last Duel manages to be all three of these movies. Everything about this film, including one of Ben Affleck’s best turns in a while, playing the decadent, sneering Count Pierre d'Alençon, can surprise those who go in with minimal expectations. I certainly did, and I’m glad I took a chance on what initially sounded like a dour, meandering waste of time. The Last Duel is anything but.

It: The Maniac Cut (2019): B+

Fan edits of movies are nothing new. This rabbit hole can certainly keep you occupied for a long time. You just may have to go to some weird corners of the internet to track these versions down. Are they worth it? As It: The Maniac Cut proves, they can be.

Combining both the 2017 and 2019 film adaptations of Stephen King’s epic horror novel into a single 220-miniute experience, with a variety of edits and changes made to give the whole endeavor a sense of harmony, It: The Maniac Cut is a fascinating opportunity. I don’t imagine it will change your opinion of these movies if you didn’t like them to begin.

However, if you did like those movies, or if they were at least a mixed bag, The Maniac Cut is at least worth a look. Among other alterations, this version moves briskly back and forth between the two stories of a group of friends, first as children, then as adults, who band together to fight a malevolent spider clown monster. This edit in many ways tempers the weaker Part 2 with the strongest elements of the 2017 release, creating a sprawling story of childhood horror poisoning any chance of happiness in adulthood. It could be argued, at least cinematically, that the Maniac Cut offers the best of what these movies have to offer, streamlined into a single film that works well for the most part.

Tiptoes (2003): D+

While writer/director Michael Bright has made at least a couple of really good films, including the nightmarish 1996 dark comedy Freeway, Tiptoes can make this easy to forget. Despite this movie being nearly 20 years old, it can very quickly generate some genuine hatred towards everyone associated with its creation and eventual release.

The basic premise of Tiptoes is basically fine. A young woman (Kate Beckinsale and her fucking lucky hat) marries a man (Matthew McConaughey, whose career probably didn’t deserve to survive this), not knowing he comes from a family of dwarves. This is further complicated when she gets pregnant. Then she falls in love with Matthew’s twin brother, who is a dwarf, and who is played by Gary Oldman.

From this stupefying concept and its horrible execution, the movie eventually just winds up being really boring. Oldman’s performance is forgettable, and impressively ridiculous when he’s on screen with actual dwarf actors like Peter Dinklage. The film, which was famously slashed from a 150-minute running time to something that barely clocks in at 90 minutes, devolves into a confusing mess of characters, plot threads, and some sort of jackassy point about acceptance. I think?

Tiptoes, which also features unfortunate performances by Patricia Arquette and David Allan Grier, is so utterly terrible, the movie barely functions as a curiosity. If you endeavor to analyze this bullshit piece of evidence that, no Gary is not in fact good in everything, you have more patience than I do.

Doberman Cop (1977): B-

An affable, disarming, and relentlessly cunning police detective shows up in Tokyo to solve a murder. Sonny Chiba as Kano reminded at least me of Columbo in the best way possible, including the pet pig the islander Kano insists on bringing with him. However, while Kano guides the expectations of those around him in his pursuit of a killer, Doberman Cop surprises you in a variety of ways.

One of those surprises is in its pacing, which leans the noir tradition of putting several threads in the air, and working to connect them as Kano barrels along the vivid, violent, and lushly comic book world of Tokyo. Doberman Cop offers an abundance of style that certainly fits the period, but also seems to draw from older noir influences. This can also be found in the general energy of the film, which is gritty, but almost good-naturedly so.

Among the many badass cops Sonny Chiba played in his long career, Kano is one of the most likable. Surrounded by an excellent supporting cast, as well as the right amount of attention to the police procedural side of all this, Doberman Cop is just a fun, extremely well-made pulp thriller.

Bluebeard’s Eighth Wife (1938): A+

The best Ernst Lubitsch movies that I’ve at least watched have several shared qualities. All of them can be found in the wildly charming Gary Cooper/Claudette Colbert romantic comedy, including sharp dialog, likable characters, and heightened circumstances that never cross over into being obnoxious.

This is the kind of film Turner Classic Movies will always love to play, because its story of an oft-divorced millionaire (Cooper) who falls for a spirited young woman (Colbert) with nothing to lose, and genuine feelings for the cantankerous dork, will always work.

This is a film not held down by any noticeable anachronisms. It moves quickly across its story, establishes its characters flawlessly, and largely hangs back let these personalities play out the story. A lot of it also comes down to the charisma of actors like Gary Cooper, Claudette Colbert, David Niven, and Edward Everett Horton. They were likable enough to carry a movie with such strong writing and direction back then, and they can still make this movie appealing in the present.

Gabriel Ricard writes, edits, and occasionally acts. His books Love and Quarters and Bondage Night are available through Moran Press, in addition to A Ludicrous Split (Alien Buddha Press) and Clouds of Hungry Dogs (Kleft Jaw Press). He is also a writer, performer, and producer with Belligerent Prom Queen Productions. He lives on a horrible place called Long Island.