Photo by David Tovar on Unsplash
And Lot’s wife looked back and became a pillar of salt.
-Genesis 19:26
And how could I have not? Looked back,
doubted, tried to catch one last glimpse
of our home, our marriage
bed, the olive trees we’d planted
in the backyard. I wanted to have faith,
to look ahead with Lot,
him squeezing my hand
in his. I wanted to have faith,
wanted to look
past the smoke, the flames, the crackling
wood, back at the home I’d known:
the scent of freshly-baked bread, leavened
with yeast. I wanted to have faith
that I too would rise one day,
spared in spite of my doubt. I wanted
to have faith. But I heard the cries, saw
the sky fill with clouds. I just wanted
one last look
back, smoke rising like the smoke
from a kiln. I wanted to have faith,
and maybe I could have,
if not for all those cries, the men
running up the hill
after us, sparks desperate
to escape the burning.
Despy Boutris is published or forthcoming in American Poetry Review, Copper Nickel, Colorado Review, The Adroit Journal, Prairie Schooner, Palette Poetry, Third Coast, Raleigh Review, Diode, The Indianapolis Review, and elsewhere. Currently, she teaches at the University of Houston and serves as Assistant Poetry Editor for Gulf Coast.
