Inspired by the Amazon series

We all have a Dick that we write to
My first Dick was Lyall

He was older and tall
and married though I didn’t know 

that last part till I was in too deep
in so deep with his dick

that I gave him a yeast infection and went to therapy
he liked the dirtiness of it all:

the secret day planner gift and dreaming of 
Jackson Pollack at New York’s MOMA

thinking of me blowing
him in front of a great work of art

My next Dick that I texted was
post divorce. Pete came on martial art hard,

asked all specifics, flirted
witty and sexual and assertive

the best kind of Dick
for a girl like me

who gets turned on her synapses
first so much so that nothing else

matters. I’d drop everything to see him.
I wrote poems about him like this one.

One last broke up Dick
ghosted me from the west coast

maybe that part helps my fantasy:
that I didn’t have to deal with his

day to day dick bullshit, like
complaints about feeling tired or 

car repairs or how I know one 
of his friends is in love with him

But I don’t say Dick about it.

I know his Dick isn’t just in my 
head that he lives and changes and feels

and ebbs and flows. I hungered for his
Dick too, wanted to see it, I think

about him being close to my body
Maybe my own fear

keeps his Dick
at bay, not taking Dick in too deep,

not living nearby 
where Dick can come 

over and stay forever and 
celebrate major and minor holidays

where Dick can sway and play
and hurt the 

softest parts of me.

Jennifer MacBain-Stephens lives in Midwest and is the author of four full length poetry collections: "Your Best Asset is a White Lace Dress," (Yellow Chair Press, 2016) "The Messenger is Already Dead," (Stalking Horse Press, 2017,) “We’re Going to Need a Higher Fence,” tied for first place in the 2017 Lit Fest Book Competition, and “The Vitamix and the Murder of Crows,” is recently out from Apocalypse Party. Her work has been nominated for Best of the Net and the Pushcart Prize. She is also the author of ten chapbooks. Recent work can be seen at or is forthcoming from The Pinch, Black Lawrence Press, Quiddity, Prelude, Cleaver, Yalobusha Review, Zone 3, and decomp. Visit: http://jennifermacbainstephens.wordpress.com/