It was a knife to the heart, a loss of voice and an undeniable understanding
How foolish! How absolutely ridiculous! – There is no end!
It was a shriek in the night
A voice lost in the void of endless conversation
One that emerges from the soul
Teeth clattering and goosebumps rising
I felt its wavelengths reach back into my memories, into far away moments
never forgotten but always repressed
There was no beauty in this scream - it was a horrid wounded animal dying
Yet, death never came
There was no release
The scream elevated itself like a solitary balloon vanishing in the sky
Suddenly, it lost its essence
It joined life's everyday sounds: the incessant banging of an alarm clock, the ignition of an engine, the clacking of a keyboard and the distorted sounds of everyday dialogues
A cacophonous symphony
Each shriek, an internal slit through the body
I could feel the invisible blood oozing out as I sat alongside friends drinking coffee
Bits and pieces cracked off my body
A carefully crafted structure, falling apart in front of their eyes
But how would they ever know?
It was the end, but it was also far from it
I itched to step out of this body and into the relished darkness
Yes, into nothingness, into freedom, into sanity
But it was pointless
as it all was, as it all is
We all remain, and I'll continue screaming until I'm in my grave
There is no peace to be had,
only the one we create between our 8 to 5, our endless screens, our monetary notes and our addictions
Yes, there is no peace
Only screams on different planes of existence
Jennifer Rodriguez is a Latina writer and admirer of all art forms. She has a Bachelor's degree in Communications with a minor in Spanish from California State University of Fullerton. She works as a public relations professional in Southern California while constantly fueling her love for creative projects, and seeking the answers of the universe through art forms. Her work has appeared in Desamor Zine, Memoir Mixtapes and Dear Movies Zine. Visit her at www.jennifer-rodriguez.com